Monday, May 21, 2012

Know Yourself

Well, Freshman year of college is over, thank the lord. Being away from NYC wasn't necessarily my cup of tea, but I endured nevertheless, The time away had it's highs and Lows.
Freedom: I've been immersed in the complete feeling of freedom, independence and personal discretion. I've always been a free little birdie, so the feeling wasn't so foreign... yet this was practically full independence, and in that I learned what I really wanted. When you are dictated, not only do you give up your freedom, but you mind's ability to expand on what you want. I essentially learned who I was in a way I've never known. I got to know Jade on a  new spectrum and that was just fabulous. 

Love: Yes, I ended my year and five month relationship with my boyfriend, but when god closes one door, somewhere, another window opens, and goodness gracious, the sun shined through that window like I've never seen! 
We met by chance, and it was like ZAP! My world is topsy turvy! But that's another story in itself. But if there's one thing one should know is I've never felt anything like this. This man is something else. He is the childhood best friend I've never had and always desired. I finally have someone to play with and there's nothing like the feeling of love, happiness and nostalgia all wrapped together.  


Grief: My mother passed away January 9th 2010, only two years ago. After she died, my life was bananas!
 I had to move back to Brooklyn from my simple suburban Long Island life, changing my life completely and for senior year of High School. Then I had to prepare for college which was stress city! Goodnes gracious, I couldn't even sit down for tea with myself! So when 1st semester began away, and I sat alone in my dormitory with my thoughts finally, it all got to me, like Mother's death was at new thing for me! I didn't know what was wrong with me, but it was terrible. I never knew what an emotion head case I could be when I have the time to be!

Whatever went down my freshman year of college, good or bad, I'm happy it happened. Everything is a new test, a challenge for me to endure, a new lesson to learn. I won't be returning to University of Hartford, which is fine, except that takes me away from him, another bloody obstacle. Fuck.
But regardless, I just think it's grand to be alive, healthy, and possibly... in love.
- Jade Elodie

1 comment: