Tuesday, January 31, 2012

My Field Trip to the Strip Club

I went to The Strip Club this past weekend with some fellow classmates just to say we did it. Here's what happened :

Admission was $10 for women, $15 for men. mandatory 2 drink minimum, 5 dollars for a bottle of water or watered down juices and sodas. They should have said admission 20 dollars.... That's how the mother cluckers swindle you.
Natalie Portman as a stripper in Closer
The stage itself jutted outward like an erect johnson: a long runway for the women, a single pole at the end. We all sat around the stage in comfortable cushioned red velvet chairs. We were to be the walls of a vagina, at least that's how I saw it in my perverted head. There was impeccable lavender light work cast upon the stage that would make the most jagged of the dancing creatures dull and soften on the stage.
There was a topless woman on the stage. She could have easily been between the ages of 17- 24, but there was really no way of telling. Pseudonym: Ruby.  I don't know who lied and said strippers possessed gargantuan racks, but she was between an A and B cup, petite physic, still an attractive body. She was on the edge of the stage with her thighs split apart like an ocean trench, back arched, a sweet smile on her face,  the stereotypical clear 50 inch platform heels on her feet. She crawled over to a middle aged man. He wore his prescription glasses, suit, tie and a smirk. She rolled on her side with her back side facing him and slapped her derriere. He ejaculated a bunch of 1 dollar bills.

Ruby swept it up and did a slow seductive crawl to my company and I.  Smiling, she asked  how my night was going. I responded it was just getting started. She chuckled and danced offbeat to Drake's Practice. I started to scrutinize her dance skill, but stopped because it was the typical female thing to do. I wasn't enjoying this like the men were. I was enjoying the show like an episode of American Idol. She finished her dance, collected her cash and disappeared. She reappeared, asking my friend for a light and pulling up a chair to the group. She had a bra on now. Ruby was cute, cake faced and smiley; obviously stoned. She looked white, but hispanic.  I couldn't tell. The lighting mixed with the intense aroma of cheap perfume begins to mess with your head after a while
" How much do you make?" I asked Ruby
" The least I made a night was $150. The most a night I made was $1800." Ruby responded.
" So, ahem,  are you saying I can pay my college tuition in a couple weeks?"
" Yes. Do you see that stripper?" Ruby asked, nodding to the stage. The announcer who sounded like the host of a circus show, introduced her as Mya. Mya was stunning, a dime some might say. Tight small waist, breast like healthy cantaloupes and an apple booty. I don't know why I compare human body parts to food. She bounced each individual cheek. As far as I'm concerned, that was as rare as finding a person who can wiggle each individual ear,  or making a tongue into a four leaf clover. And the men went wild. She went to the pole ( which began to spin) and did some impressive moves.
A pole. When did it become such a sexual device? What's in a pole? Me sliding down the pole in the jungle gym, running away from who was "It" in a game of Tag. Me holding on a pole in the Subway. A fireman sliding down a pole. And then a woman swinging on a pole like Tarzan. I think a pole has great variety of usage.

" Mya paid for Med School stripping, and made so much money, she just kept right on stripping. When you're bringing in thousands weekly. It's not a bad job at all."
In retrospect, the pole must be DUTTY.  We all didn't really know how filthy the strip club was, and fuck it, we didn't really want to know. We all didn't know how dirty the strippers were, but at that time we weren't even contemplating that. At that moment, they were the most clean, beautiful women in the world, the most powerful in the room. In a strip club, nothing is as it seems. That's why I kept my hands on my lap.

" These girls work hard, so you can stay hard!" The voice jockey boomed, sounding like  Bozo The Clown.
My friend started to tap my shoulder and pointed out a group of men that were starting at me rather than Mya. who was spread eagle and thong-less with a face screwed in pure, unadulterated ecstasy. I had my coat on.

" My real name is Vicky by the way, not Ruby hunnie." Vicky/ Ruby said
" Oh! My name is Michelle." I responded, lying of course.

" So, are you thinking about working here?"

I looked on the stage and a stripper named Jenny had her legs wide open, with 5 piercings on her vagina. Her clitoris was the size of a marble. I shivered in shock.

This is all 100% True


  1. heheh, sounds like a fun experience.xx


    1. It most definitely was! Unforgettable for sure ^_^